ReubenLies

Tomato hater.

7 Watchers6 Deviations

4.7K

Pageviews

Latest Deviations

An Ode to Potatoes by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

An Ode to Potatoes

They hide away, for most of their lives, like cicada, until their Orpheus guides them from their Underworld of soil. Then gently caressed by the hands of a farmer, treating each and everyone like their own children, in need of a bath after frolicking in the mud, placed delicately with their brothers and sisters, on the back of a truck, on their route to adventure. Upon arriving at the market, they are thrown roughly into a wooden crate, along with hundreds of others, all squished in that incredibly small space, becoming bruised and battered; oh! the discomfort they must have felt! A staple so humble to the rest, the constan

Shaniqua loves art by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

Shaniqua loves art

A young woman named Shaniqua loved making art, and practiced carving all day long to become the very best in all her town. But one day, she was completely stumped. She looked around her room, full of art pieces featuring mystical phalanges, sci-fi landscapes of a futuristic Dildo, Newfoundland, and a portrait of Kim Kardashian that looked so real, you could start a conversation with it. But nothing inspired her. Had she really created everything there was to create? Depressed, she looked out her window, and made a wish on a nearby wonton for inspiration to return to her. The next morning, she sprung out of bed, and used her skill in carving t

Godfrey by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

Godfrey

Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Godfrey who always dreamed of becoming the world's best concubine. He trained every day for 0.1 hours in order to beat his rival, The Rigorous Menace. The day of the big competition arrived, and Godfrey came armed with a saddle and his unstoppable determination. They were pitted against each other in a battle of wits, and Godfrey emerged as the prickly victor! His achievement is celebrated every Chinese New Year.

Fella's Magnificent Birthday Bash by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

Fella's Magnificent Birthday Bash

For deviantART's 12th birthday, the staff decided to throw a magnificent surprise party for Fella. They gathered at Fella's favorite restaurant, The Fancy Ferret, with presents in hand. Llama brought Fella to the door and once they stepped in, all of the staff screamed, "TICKLE FIGHT!" Fella was so shocked that he instantly imploded. He opened his presents to find that Llama had given him 12 toenails. He was amazed! He would never forget that night.

Six Word Self-Portrait by ReubenLies, literature

Untitled by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

Untitled

He stared at me, dead in the eye, from the other end of the battlefield. A vast land of scattered fiefs lay between us, blanketed with knights waiting our next commands. I stared back, with equal, if not more, undivided intensity. He lowered his head at a nearly unnoticeable angle, keeping his unreadable eyes on my own. I can feel him burrowing past my pupils, tunneling into the murky depths of my mind, taking it apart, gear by gear, extracting and unraveling my thoughts, deciphering my plans. I see his finger twitch, ever so slightly. My eyes leap to that hand, widening with anticipation. He slowly raises his hand, a vein bulging undernea

Featured Gallery

An Ode to Potatoes by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

An Ode to Potatoes

Shaniqua loves art by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

Shaniqua loves art

Godfrey by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

Godfrey

Fella's Magnificent Birthday Bash by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

Fella's Magnificent Birthday Bash

Six Word Self-Portrait by ReubenLies, literature

Untitled by ReubenLies, literature

Literature

Untitled

Watchers 7

ninatooley

AGFotografie

Jenrules481

pinkyziggy444

RuleroftheTwili

HoshiDee

MorningSun5

Watching 57

See all

ArtistAbe

The-EvIl-Plankton

theDURRRRIAN

ItsNotImpossible

ninatooley

AGFotografie

M0AI

Jenrules481

viria13

Cataclysm-X

The-Gintamards

amyhooton

Kutty-Sark

guilloteeeen

titiavanbeugen

Collection

Favourites

See all

Nightmare Fuel: Monsters by Anastasios Gionis by danlev, journal

Nightmare Fuel: Monsters by Anastasios Gionis

Oct 18, 2013

Anastasios Gionis is a digital sculptor and 3D modeler for the film industry. His work has been featured in films such as Snow White and the Huntsman, Cabin in the Woods, Land of the Lost, Hop, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. He also did character design for kids TV shows including As Told by Ginger, All Grown Up, Squirrel Boy, and Rocket Power.

About ReubenLies

See all

Artist // Hobbyist // Literature

South Georgia & S. Sandwich Islands
Deviant for 13 years
www.iamawesome.com

Badges

My Bio

I lost the game.

Favourite Movies

我要做 Model!

Favourite TV Shows

CRIMINAL MINDS, BITCHES. (CSI can kiss my ass.) Next Foodnetwork Star. iCarly. (acting isn't great but my childish humour is tickled by the writing.)

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

3DG, Skrillex, Queen

Favourite Games

The Game.

Other Interests

Gintama, potatoes, bacon, dancing like a mofo, funny faces, photobombing

Posts

See all

ReubenLies

Aug 7, 2012

Summer Lovin'~~~~~~~~~

0 min read

I keeeeeed. No lovin' for me. Anyveyyyyyyys, I'm going to be doing some manager-type stuffs over on my friend's account. She's now open for commissions! More info here: ~MorningSun5 (https://www.deviantart.com/morningsun5) She's friggin' sexual awesome. She's awesome. Moving on. I've been in summer school since the beginning of July-- so about 6 weeks now. And guess what? I still have no friends. It's actually quite laughable. I'm normally an outgoing character, an extrovert to most my peers, but I guess I'm still reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally introverted at heart. I always have been, now that I think about it. Guess you can't fake it till you make it. Also, there aren't

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

ReubenLies

Mar 11, 2012

Kony and stuffs

0 min read

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ8q1fEqYIM&feature=share What she said.

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

ReubenLies

Jan 6, 2012

kray

0 min read

A lovely copy-and-paste-story that was brought to my attention on le facebook: Kim jON il was going 2 war wit his bf hu jintao n day was cross in da border to sour korea. king john see "hu will u luv me 4evr" hu said "NO.." kim jong creyed N ran across da border to sour korea but was killed in no mans land hu was creyin and went to pic up kims body kim wez ded. hu whisper 2 him "i meant 2 set i will live u FIVE-ever..." (dat mean he love kim moar den 4evr" xxx :((((((( ..like if u crey! <3 <3 <3